Fish Tales last night and Dutches tonight, gotta make Becker some money.
Another work day in the books, damn the older you get the harder this shit is. Great being back to work though. I’m working at Fish Tales tonight, stop in to see me.
In church one Sunday morning, a preacher said, “Anyone with ‘special needs” who wants to beprayed over, please come forward to the front by the altar.”
With that, Leroy got in line, and when it was his turn,
the Preacher asked, “Leroy, what do you want me to pray about for you?”
Leroy replied, “Preacher, I need you to pray for help with my hearing.”
The preacher put one finger of one hand on Leroy’s ear, placed his other hand on top of Leroy’s head, and then
prayed and prayed and prayed.
He prayed a “blue streak” for Leroy, and the whole congregation joined in with great enthusiasm.
After a few minutes, the preacher removed his hands, stood back and asked, “Leroy, how is your hearing?”
Leroy answered, ” I don’t know. It ain’t ’til Thursday.”
Off to work tonight at Dutches in Marenisco. Last weekend was rough but not too rough to go to Fish Tales Saturday night for some tequila and Busch Lights. It is hard to get back in the habit of posting everyday, I keep running into people in public asking why I’m not online, I have not been on Facebook because I got sick of all the stupid people and their stupid posts. So maybe I just stay off of Facebook and just start my stupid posts back up.
An Italian Boy’s Confession
“Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl.”
The priest asks, “Is that you, little Joey Pagano?”
“‘Yes, Father, it is.”
“And who was the girl you were with?”
“I can’t tell you, Father. I don’t want to ruin her reputation.”
“Well, Joey, I’m sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?”
“I cannot say.”
“Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?”
“I’ll never tell.”
“Was it Nina Capelli?”
“I’m sorry, but I cannot name her.”
“Was it Cathy Piriano?”
“My lips are sealed.”
“Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?”
“Please, Father, I cannot tell you.”
The priest sighs in frustration. “You’re very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you’ve sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself.”
Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, “What’d you get?”
“Four months vacation and five good leads!”
well I didn’t know if I would make it but Friday days at Timberline, Friday night at Dutches and Saturday days back at Timberline. I have joined the working force once again. Antigo Dave stopped by this morning to give me shit, he didn’t buy anything, he never does. Good thing his wife Julie is a sweetheart, otherwise I wouldn’t even bother talking to him.
Well I am back I guess, the broken foot had me out of commission mentally more than physically I think. You would think being off line for 3 & 1/2 months I would be full of bullshit and things to say. But it is just the opposite, I don’t see anyone so I have nothing to talk about. Unless………..
Actually Becker and I went for our first Side by Side ride in about 3 years. We took off from Merriweather at 11 am, first stop was Dutches in Marenisco. After a few cold sodas we hit Rodger’s Bar and then down to Cisco Lake Resort for lunch, or was it dinner? I’m not sure after too many of those cold sodas everything kind of runs together, if you know what I mean? After dinner or lunch it was off to Watersmeet and some gambling and yes you guessed it, a few more cold sodas. All was fine until my Can Am was steering funny around Paulding and bigger than shit I had a flat tire. We aired it up and I made it another 1/2 mile before it was flat again. So considering everyone was full of cold soda which made it hard to bend over and see it was a plug-able fix, we opted to leave my Can Am on the side of the road and Becker and I road in the Fisher’s 4-seater back to, you guessed it, South Branch for another cold soda because all the dust on the trails really made everyone dry. To make a long story short (haha) we got back with the trailer around midnight. Fun had by all.
I am working at Timberline today and tomorrow and Dutches tonight, stop by and see me, I’ve missed all of you.
Mom’s webcam is fixed
Boring up here in the UP right now. Although the weather is getting nicer and fishing season has started I’m just walking around pissing and moaning about this stupid walking boot I am in. I’m lucky though compared to some people I have talked with. Others have went 6-18 months with not being able to put weight on their foot. At least I only had 3 weeks before I could walk. Or hobble I should say. All I am good for is sitting around eating and drinking beer. Becker says nothing has changed. Weather is getting good, time for a road trip to come up and see us.
On the subject of Colonoscopies…Colonoscopies are no joke, but these comments during the exam were quite humorous. A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies:1. Take it easy Doc. You’re boldly going where no man has gone before.2. ‘Find Amelia Earhart yet?’3. ‘Can you hear me NOW?’4. ‘Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?’5 ‘You know, in Arkansas, we’re now legally married.’6. ‘Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?’7. ‘You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out…’8. ‘Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!’9. ‘If your hand doesn’t fit, you must quit!’10. ‘Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity.’11. ‘You used to be an executive at Enron, didn’t you?’12. ‘God, now I know why I am not gay’And the best one of all:13. ‘Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there?
Boy this last month has sucked, finally I am in a boot and able to get around a little. I’ll start posting again now that my ass can get out of bed and off the couch.
There once was a farmer who was raising 3 daughters on his own. He was very concerned about their well being and always did his best to watch out for them. As they entered their late teens the girls dated, and on this particular evening all three of his girls were going out on a date. This was the first time this had occurred. As was his custom, he would greet the young suitor at the door holding his shotgun, not to menace or threaten but merely to ensure that the young man knew who was boss.
The doorbell rang and the first of the boys arrived. Father answered the door and the lad said, “Hi, my name’s Joe, I’m here for Flo. We’re going to the show, is she ready to go?” The father looked him over and sent the kids on their way.
The next lad arrived and said, “My name’s Eddie, I’m here for Betty, we’re gonna get some spaghetti, is she ready?” Father felt this one was okay too, so off the two kids went.
The final young man arrived and the farmer opened the door. The boy started off, “Hi, my name’s Chuck… –” and the farmer shot him.
Went to Doctors today and he said I’m healing up just fine. 6 Screws and a metal plate in my ankle now. Sorry I haven’t been online, been sitting with ice and leg in the air. One more week of keeping all pressure off my ankle then I should be going into a boot and be a little more mobile.
looks like facebook is not excepting my posts. Surgery was a success
Surgery went well I guess, something like 4 or 5 screws and a plate in my ankle. So now when Becker asks me if I have a screw loose or something I can honestly say hell yes I do. Holy shit the pain when I woke up from surgery, a few drugs later and I feel like dancing. I have to keep all weight off for at least 2 weeks. So I’m sentenced to 2 more weeks of sitting on my ass. All in all though I am doing fine, just no bartending for a while and I’ll miss seeing all of you, that’s the hardest part.
A man takes the day off work and
Decides to go out golfing.
He is on the second hole when he
Notices a frog sitting next to the green.
He thinks nothing of it and is
About to swing when he Hears,
Ribbit 9 Iron.’
The man looks around and doesn’t
Again, he hears, ‘Ribbit 9 Iron’
He looks at the frog and decides to
Prove the frog wrong, puts the
Club away, and grabs a 9 iron.
He hits it 10 inches from the cup.
He is shocked.
He says to the frog,
‘Wow that’s amazing..
You must be a lucky frog, eh?
The frog replies,
‘Ribbit Lucky frog.’
The man decides to take the frog
with him to the next hole.
‘What do you think frog?’
The man asks.
‘Ribbit 3 wood.’
The guy takes out a 3 wood and,
Boom! Hole in one..
The man is befuddled and doesn’t know
What to say.
By the end of the day, the man golfed the
Best game of golf in his life and
asks the frog,
‘OK where to next?’
The frog replies,
‘Ribbit Las Vegas ..
‘ They go to Las Vegas
and the guy says,
‘OK frog, now What?’
The frog says, ‘Ribbit Roulette’
Upon approaching the roulette table,
The man asks,
‘What do you think I should Bet?’
The frog replies,
‘Ribbit $3000, black 6.’
Now, this is a
million-to-one shot to win, but
after the golf game the man
Figures what the heck.
Tons of cash comes sliding back across the table
The man takes his winnings and
buys the best room in the Hotel.
He sits the frog down and Says,
‘Frog, I don’t know how to repay you
You’ve won me all this money and
I am forever grateful.’
The frog replies,
‘Ribbit Kiss Me.’
He figures why not,
Since after all the frog did for Him,
He deserves it..
With a kiss, the frog turns into a
gorgeous 15-year-old girl.
your honor, is how the girl
ended up in my room.
So help me God
Or my name is not William Jefferson Clinton.’