Back below freezing in the UP. The colder the better, bring it on Mother Nature. Headed to Da Lodge to work today. Vikings and Packers tonight.
A girl was a prostitute, but she did not want her grandma to know. One day the police raided a whole group of prostitutes at a sex party in a hotel and she was among them. The police took them outside and had all the prostitutes line up along the driveway. Suddenly the girl’s grandma came by and saw her. “Why are you standing in line, dear?” she asked. Not willing to let her grandma know the truth, the girl told her that the policemen were passing out free oranges. “Why, that is awfully nice of them! I think I’ll get some for myself,” said the grandma. A policeman went down the line, asking for information from all of the prostitutes. When he got to Grandma, he exclaimed, “Wow, still going at it at your age? How do you do it?” Grandma replied, “Oh, it’s easy, dear. I just take out my dentures and suck them dry!”
Better off having a little melt down in November than after the season starts. It may even be a good thing. We need the woods to freeze up before we get a lot of snow. Temps are supposed to fall below freezing this afternoon and stay at or below freezing for the next 10 days. Not a lot of snow in the forecast but that is a good thing for us around Lake Gogebic because of all the wet areas on the trails around here.
A housewife takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work. Not aware that 9 year old son was hiding in the closet. Her husband came home unexpectedly, so she hid her lover in the closet. The boy now has company.
Boy: “Dark in here.” Man: “Yes it is.” Boy: “I have a baseball.” Man: “That’s nice.” Boy: “Want to buy it?” Man: “No, thanks.” Boy: “My dad’s outside.” Man: “OK, how much?” Boy: “$250.”
In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the mom’s lover are in the closet together.
Boy: “Dark in here.” Man: “Yes, it is.” Boy: “I have a baseball glove.” Man: “That’s nice.” Boy: “Want to buy it?” Man: “No, thanks.” Boy: “I’ll tell.” Man: “How much?” Boy: “$750.” Man: “Fine.”
A few days later, the father says to the boy, “Grab your glove. Let’s go outside and toss the baseball!” The boy says, “I can’t. I sold them.” The father asks, “How much did you sell them for?” The son says, “$1,000.” The father says, “That’s terrible to over-charge your friends like that. That is way more than those two things cost. I’m going to take you to church and make you confess.” They go to church and the father alerts the priest and makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and closes the door.
The boy says, “Dark in here.” The priest says, “Don’t start that shit again.”
Hopefully I won’t be considered a racist by calling today Black Friday. Or saying I want a White Christmas LOL. I would rather be in the UP where bullshit like that does not matter to people like it does in the rest of the country.
Warmer temps today and tomorrow, with a chance of rain possible. The rain will not hurt, in fact in would probably help out on the Lake. Below Freezing temps for highs from Sunday on.
A young man and his date were parked on a back road some distance from town. They were about to have sex when the girl stopped. “I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I’m actually a hooker and I charge $20 for sex.” The man reluctantly paid her, and they did their thing. After a cigarette, the man just sat in the driver’s seat looking out the window. “Why aren’t we going anywhere?” asked the girl. “Well, I should have mentioned this before, but I’m actually a taxi driver, and the fare back to town is $25…”
Opps, yesterday’s post. I forgot to hit publish. Happy Thanks Giving everyone.
Twas the Night before Turkey Day,
And all thru the UP,
Snowflakes were falling,
And them temps were a freezing.
If I was talented or maybe had more Tequila maybe I could finish the poem. My brothers are in town so there is a chance of the tequila coming out later. With the exception of Friday and Saturday temps remain below freezing, good start for November, keep them cold temps coming Mother Nature.
A guy stuck his head into a barbershop and asked, “How long before I can get a haircut?” The barber looked around the shop full of customers and said, “About 2 hours.” The guy left. A few days later, the same guy stuck his head in the door and asked, “How long before I can get a haircut?” The barber looked around at the shop and said, “About 3 hours.” The guy left. A week later, the same guy stuck his head in the shop and asked, “How long before I can get a haircut?” The barber looked around the shop and said, “About an hour and a half.” The guy left. The barber turned to his friend and said, “Hey, Bob, do me a favor, follow him and see where he goes. He keeps asking how long he has to wait for a haircut, but he never comes back.” A little while later, Bob returned to the shop, laughing hysterically. The barber asked, “So, where does he go when he leaves?” Bob looked up, wiped the tears from his eyes and said, “Your house!”
Temps have continued to stay down but looks like a little bit of a warm up over the weekend. Nothing major, we will be fine, even if we do get a little bit of rain. The Lake is froze but the ice is only thick enough for Shawn Montie or Mark Hanson to try. (That is by no means a dare guys)
A young man was showing off his new sports car to his girlfriend. She was thrilled at the speed. “If I do 200mph, will you take off your clothes?” he asked. “Yes!” said his adventurous girlfriend. And as he gets up to 200, she peeled off all her clothes. Unable to keep his eyes on the road, the car skidded onto some gravel and flipped over. The naked girl was thrown clear, but he was jammed beneath the steering wheel. “Go and get help!” he cried. “But I can’t. I’m naked and my clothes are gone!” “Take my shoe”, he said, “and cover yourself.” Holding the shoe over her pubes, the girl ran down the road and found a service station. Still holding the shoe between her legs, she pleaded to the service station proprietor, “Please help me! My boyfriend’s stuck!” The proprietor looked at the shoe and said, “There’s nothing I can do…he’s in too far.”
I heard reports that the south end of the Lake is froze over. The Bay up in Bergland has been frozen since early last week. Keep the cold here Mother Nature, we need it.
Benefit for Charlie at Gogebic Lodge today. Misty and I are bartending and donating all our tips to Charlie. So dig deep because it is going to help Charlie.
An older couple, who were both widowed, had been going out with each other for a long time. Urged on by their friends, they decided it was finally time to get married. Before the wedding, they went out to dinner and had a long conversation regarding how their marriage might work. They discussed finances, living arrangements, and so on. Finally, the old gentleman decided it was time to broach the subject of their physical relationship. “How do you feel about sex?” he asked, rather tentatively. “I would like it infrequently “, she replied. The old gentleman sat quietly for a moment, adjusted his glasses, then leaned over towards her and whispered, “Is that one word or two?“
Yep, Lake Effect Snow going on right now. Cool it with the Snow Mother Nature, we want sub zero temps. That will make me popular with the Locals. Looks like we only got a few inches, but there is nothing like watching those half dollar sized flakes fall from the sky.
A father and his 6-year-old son are walking down the street, and they come across two dogs having sex. The boy is shocked by what he sees and asks his father “Daddy, what are they doing?” The father, not wanting to lie to his son, says “they’re just making a puppy.” “OK” says the son, and the father is relieved that he doesn’t probe further. The next day, the son bursts into his parents’ room and sees them having sex. The father jumps up and quickly covers himself. Knowing he’s in for an interesting talk, walks downstairs with him and they sit at the dining room table. His son asks him “Daddy, what were you and mommy doing?” Again, wanting to be honest with his son, he says “me and mommy were making a baby.” His son pauses for a moment, thinking, and then replies “flip mommy over, I want a puppy!”
Temps are staying down for now but we do need them much lower for a Dec. 1st start of the season. We need a lot more cold first and only then major snow. But hey it is early and I have seen good seasons start off a lot worse than what we have right now. Gogebic Area Grooming has built another groomer barn down in Marenisco to house the groomer taking care of the southern part of our trail system. The newer Groomer Drivers we have are a lot more experienced now and I think you will continue to see improvements over our trail system for years to come now. I think it is safe to say “Gogebic Area Grooming is back.” All we need now is for Mother Nature to cooperate.
Three Green Bay Fans were bemoaning the sorry state of their football team. “I blame the general manager,” said the first fan. “If he signed better players, we’d be a great team.” “I blame the players,” said the
second fan. “If they made more of
an effort, we’d score some points.” “I blame my parents,” said the third. “If I’d been born in Chicago,
I’d be supporting a decent team.”
The sun is out, first time in a while. Hopefully it will melt some of the snow down so the cold weather can get to the ground. The snow is great and I know all the snowmobilers love to see it, but we need cold to freeze in the trails. We are below freezing for highs most of the time so it looks like a good start. Just hold off a bit on more snow for a while Mother Nature. (at least till my plow truck is out of the shop)
After a recent football game, the team went into the locker room to get out of their uniforms and to shower. In the showers, Bubba noticed that Duke has a cork shoved up his butt-hole. So, Bubba asked, “Duke, why in the world do you have a cork up your butt?” Duke answered, “Last night when I was cleaning my antique brass lamps, a genie came out of one of them. The genie said that I had one wish. I was really startled and I replied, “No shit!”
Sunday Lake was froze over when I was in Ironwood yesterday. The bay on Lake Gogebic is froze too. Tis getting to be the season I think. Now we need the snow to hold off and turn down the temps. Every year I have been up here it seems we struggle with a different obstacle. We’ll see what this year brings but so far, so good. Get you preventive maintenance done on them sleds, it soon will be SNOW TIME.
A Well Run Business
Me: I was doing an overnight at a hotel away from home & I took my computer down to the bar to do some work. I sat down and asked the bartender, ‘What’s the wifi password?’
Bartender: ‘You need to buy a drink first.’
Me: ‘Okay, I’ll have a beer.’
Bartender: ‘We have Guinness on tap.’
Me: ‘Sure. How much is that?’
Me: ‘Here you are. OK now, what’s the wifi password?’
Bartender: ‘ “youneedtobuyadrinkfirst”; No spaces and all lowercase.’