A balmy 50 degrees today in beautiful downtown Merriweather today. The snow is melting and the creeks are running. Sad to see winter go.
A woman walks into an accountant’s office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes.
The accountant says, “before we begin, I’ll need to ask you a few questions.”
“He gets her name, address, Social security number, etc. and then asks, “Whats your occupation?”
“I’m a Lady of the night,” she says.
The accountant is somewhat taken aback and says, “Lets try to rephrase that.”
“The woman says, “Ok, I’m a high-end call girl.”
“No, that still won’t work. Try again.”
“They both think for a minute; then the woman says, “I’m an elite chicken farmer.”
The accountant asks, “What does chicken farming have to do with being a prostitute?”
“Well, I raised a thousand little peckers last year.
The accountant says, “Chicken farmer it is”!

Good morning from the UP. Well not much else interesting to say so here is a pretty good joke.

A professor travels to Africa to live with a primitive tribe and spends years with them, teaching them all about the wonders of science and mathematics.  He makes friends with the tribe’s chief and his wife and they all live happily for some time.  One day the chief’s wife gives birth to a white child.  The word spreads and the entire tribe is in shock.

The chief pulls the professor aside and says, “Look, you are the only white man we’ve ever seen around here, and my wife gave birth to a white child.  It doesn’t take a genius to figure out what happened!”

The professor replied, “No, chief, you’re mistaken.  What we have here is a natural occurrence what we in the civilized world call an albino!  Look at that field over there.  All the sheep are white except for one black one. Nature does this on occasion.”

The chief was silent for a moment, then said, “Tell you what.  You don’t say anything more about that sheep and I won’t say anything more about the white kid.”

The Fat Lady is Singing.

Trail Conditions: Going down Hill quick

Weather: Warming up.

We have been done grooming around the Lake Gogebic Area since the weekend I think. Too bad because we had some cold nights. We had a good season and I’m sure the area businesses want to thank each and everyone of you that visited our area.

I’ll try to update the website as often as I can send me a good joke if you get one.

A Story With A Moral!

Every year, Simon entered the state lottery hoping to win. He never did. Finally, he prayed vigorously, and hoping for God’s message, he walked around the fair.

A flash of lightning struck as he was passing by Suzie’s stall. She was bending over and he saw she was not wearing panties. He could see a 7 written on both her buns.

He bet on 77 as he thought God had given him a clue. He lost again…Sad!

The winning number was 707.

Moral of the story: Never underestimate the importance of assholes in your life.

Trail Conditions: Going down Hill quick

Weather: Warming up.

Things don’t look good in the Northwoods.   The Lake will probably not be rideable very soon if not already. It has been a good year for riders up here, with snow all over we didn’t have the traffic we usually have, leaving the trails in great condition most of the time. I hate to say it but I think the fat lady is getting to do a concert.

You’ll probably be able to find good conditions and clubs still grooming for a little while up towards Houghton but I would call someone first.

Becker was feeling a bit frisky the other day and I have not been up to the challenge so she spiked my coffee with 4 Viragra  which I od’d on. It was the hardest day of my life. But the good news is I have not fallen out of bed in days. 

Trail Conditions: Pretty Good Still

Weather: Warming up.

Reports have riders have still been pretty good for the most part. Water in turns are common but early morning and late night riding has been real good. But is it going to last? Nope, not for long, temps are going to get the best of us. 50’s by weeks end. You’re probably still going to find some good riding but once the water starts running in the hills water and mush are going to be everywhere.

Couldn’t find any decent jokes today.

Trail Conditions: Very Good

Weather: Warming up next week.

Everything I’ve heard from riders has been great. Temps are warming up next week but I do believe the trails are gonna hold up longer than we think. Next weekend conditions could still be pretty damn good.

 

Trail Conditions: Probably hold out for the weekend, next week is gonna be warm .

Weather: Cooler through the weekend.

This weekend should be good to ride but after that trails are going to be soft. You will probably be able to ride next week but warm temps are going to make things sloppy. It’s snowing now though so come on up for a final ride.

 

 

Trail Conditions: I’m guessing here that they are going to hold up through the weekend.

Weather: Warm up .

I’ll be talking with riders tonight at Gogebic Lodge but for now I can say the trails are going to survive a few days of rain. Weather Underground has Thursday and Friday’s lows at 16 and 9 degrees so I’m sure groomers will be out at night. So we should be fine through this weekend.

Next week looks confusing, Weather Underground has temps in the high 40’s but John Dee is calling for below average temps 5-10 days out. So we will have to wait and see. We have a lot of snow and should last for a while, but when it start melting running water will start making a mess of things. Hang tight the Fat Lady may be coming in the near future but she has a lot of snow to get through before she gets here.

Siamese twins walk into a bar in Canada and park themselves on a bar stool.
One of them says to the bartender, “Don’t mind us; we’re joined at the hip. I’m John, he’s Jim. Two
Molson Canadian beers, draft please.”

The bartender, feeling slightly awkward, tries to make polite conversation while pouring the beers. “Been on holiday yet, lads?”

“Off to England next month,” says John. “We go to
England every year, rent a car and drive for miles.
Don’t we, Jim?” Jim agrees.

“Ah, country… the history, the beer, the culture…”
“Nah, we don’t like that British crap,” says John.
“Hamburgers and Molson’s beer, that’s us,
eh Jim? And we can’t stand the English –
they’re so arrogant and rude.”

“So why keep going to England?” asks the bartender.
“It’s the only chance Jim gets to drive.”

Trail Conditions: Good to very good..

Weather: Warm up .

Into the 40’s Tuesday through Thursday with a chance of some rain. But after Thursday temps are going back down so I’m sure they will be out grooming. Our base is going to be here for a while yet.

A good looking man walked into an agent’s office in Hollywood and said “I want to be a movie star.”

Tall, handsome and with experience on Broadway, he had the right credentials. The agent asked, “What’s your name?”

The guy said, “My name is Penis van Lesbian.” The agent said, “Sir, I hate to tell you, but in order to get into Hollywood , you are going to have to change your name.”

“I will NOT change my name! The van Lesbian name is centuries old, I will not disrespect my grandfather by changing my name. Not ever.”

The agent said, “Sir, I have worked in Hollywood for years… you will NEVER go far in Hollywood with a name like Penis van Lesbian! I’m telling you, you will HAVE TO change your name or I will not be able to represent you.”

“So be it! I guess we will not do business together” the guy said and he left the agent’s office

FIVE YEARS LATER….. The agent opens an envelope sent to his office. Inside the envelope is a letter and a check for $50,000. The agent is awe-struck, who would possibly send him $ 50,000?

He reads the letter enclosed…
“Dear Sir, Five years ago, I came into your office wanting to become an actor in Hollywood, you told me I needed to change my name. Determined to make it with my God-given birth name, I refused.

You told me I would never make it in Hollywood with a name like Penis van Lesbian. After I left your office, I thought about what you said. I decided you were right. I had to change my name. I had too much pride to return to your office, so I signed with another agent. I would never have made it without changing my name, so the enclosed check is a token of my appreciation.

Thank you for your advice..

Sincerely,
Dick van Dyke

 

Trail Conditions: Good to very good..

Weather: Warm up and more snow.

Don’t fear the warm temps this week, we have plenty of snow. I’m at Gogebic Lodge tonight, Monday and Wednesday night. Gotta run, sorry no time for jokes.