Hello out there wherever you maybe, I hope you and your families are in good health. I don’t know where all of you stand on this Covid-19 crap and the government BS that goes along with it.  I’m confused as hell. I believe there is something very bad out there, how serious it is do we know for sure? How many flu and pneumonia cases are being called covid? I’ve talked to a few doctors and many nurses (yes nurses come into the bar) and they have different beliefs too. I hoped that after the election the political aspect would be put aside and we would see everyone working towards a cure and truthful information be made available to us.  Hell I’m a dumbass for even thinking that could have ever happened. Hopefully this will end in the near future, before anymore of our loved one die and before our country gets even broker. I’m not sure if closing bars and restaurants is an answer or if it will help but the business up here have no choice but to abide by the rules are governor has mandated once again. Seeing comments from people like “just stay open she has no right” or “”in my town the bars are open” ect………. All I can say is the business owner have no choice but to obey, their health department and liquor licenses are at stake. I’m not even sure why I get pissed off at stupid shit people say, you would think after this many years in the business I would be used to it. Guess I am a slow learner. I was bored and needed to vent, hopefully this will end soon and we can all get back to doing whatever it was we were doing last March. Shit snowmobiling, that is what we were doing before this all broke out, snowmobiling. Thanks for listening if you made it to the end of my rant.
Lexophile – A love for words:
   When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate
 · A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
     When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A.
      The batteries were given out free of charge.
       A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.
A will is a dead giveaway.
       With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
       A boiled egg is hard to beat.
         When you’ve seen one shopping center you’ve seen a mall.
     Police were summoned to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
 Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off?  He’s all right now.
     A bicycle can’t stand alone; it’s just two tired.
   When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine is now fully recovered.
   He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
   When she saw her first strands of grey hair she thought she’d dye.
    Acupuncture is a jab well done. That’s the point of it.
      Those who get too big for their pants will be totally exposed in the end.
 ALWAYS LAUGH WHEN YOU CAN; IT’S CHEAP MEDICINE!
John, who lived in the north of England, decided to go golfing in Scotland with his buddy, Shawn. They loaded up John’s minivan and headed north.

After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard.  So they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night.

‘I realize it’s terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I’m recently widowed,’ she explained, ‘and I’m afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house.’ 

‘Don’t worry,’ John said. ‘We’ll be happy to sleep in the barn. And if the weather breaks, we’ll be gone at first light.’

The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night. 

Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way. They enjoyed a great weekend of golf.  But about nine months later, John got  an unexpected letter from an attorney.  It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he and Shawn had met on the golf weekend.

He dropped in on his friend Shawn and asked, “Shawn, do you remember that good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on our golf holiday   in Scotland about 9 months ago?”

‘Yes, I do,’ said Shawn.  ‘Did you, errr, happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a little visit?’

‘Well, ummm, yes,’ Shawn said, a little embarrassed about being found out, ‘Yes, I must admit that I did.’

‘And did you happen to give her my name instead of telling her your name?’

Shawn’s face turned beet red and he said, ‘Yeah, look, I’m sorry, buddy I’m afraid I did.  So why do you ask?’

She just died and left me everything.’
 
And you thought the ending would be different, didn’t you? 

Our great Governor has shut us down again starting at midnight tonight for 3 weeks. The scariest part in her press conference was how she kept saying that the coming months would be worst to come.  Would she dare to keep the bars and restaurants closed through snowmobile season? All we can do is wait and see.

I’m having trouble right now with the website saying it is not secure. I’ll be working on it, I’m sure I just need to spend a little more money to fix it.

 

 

Russ Buttacovoli, an 80-year-old Italian goes to the doctor for a check-up.
The doctor is amazed at what good shape the guy is in and asks, ‘how do you
stay in such great physical condition?’
I’m Italian and I am a golfer,’ says Russ, ‘and that’s why I’m in such good
shape. I’m up well before daylight and out golfing up and down the fairways.
I have a glass of vino, and all is well.’

“‘Well’ says the doctor, ‘I’m sure that helps, but there’s got to be more to
it. How old was your Father when he died?

“Who said he was dead?”

The doctor is amazed. ‘You mean you’re 80 years old and your Father’s still
alive. How old is he?’
‘He’s 100 years old,’ says Russ ‘In fact he golfed with me this morning, and
then we went to the topless beach for a walk and had a little vino and
that’s why he’s still alive. He’s Italian and he’s a golfer, too.’

‘Well,’ the doctor says, ‘that’s great, but I’m sure there’s more to it than
that. How about your Father’s Father? How old was he when he died?’

‘Who said my Nonno’s dead?’

Stunned, the doctor asks, ‘You mean you’re 80 years old and your
grandfather’s still living! Incredible, how old is he?’
‘He’s 118 years old,’ says the Old Italian golfer. The doctor is getting
frustrated at this point, ‘So, I guess he went golfing with you this morning
too?’

‘No, Nonno couldn’t go this morning because he’s getting married today.’

At this point the doctor is close to losing it. ‘Getting married? Why would
a 118 year- old guy want to get married?’

‘Who said he wanted to?

ANDY ROONEY ON SEX!

1. When I was born, I was given a choice – a big pecker or a good memory….
I don’t remember what I chose.

2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

3. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects.

4. Impotence: nature’s way of saying, “No hard feelings…”

5. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men – ‘don’t’ and
‘stop’, unless they are used together..

6. Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.

7. There are three stages in a man’s life: Tri-Weekly, Try Weekly and Try
Weakly.

8. Virginity can be cured.

9. Virginity is not dignity, it’s lack of opportunity.

10. Having sex is like playing bridge – if you don’t have a good partner, you better have a good hand.

11. I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dial were too small.

12. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.

13. Question: What’s an Australian kiss?
Answer: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under.

14. A couple just married were happy with the whole thing. He was happy with the Hole and she was happy with the Thing.

15. Question: What are the three biggest tragedies in a man’s life?
Answer: Life sucks, job sucks and the wife doesn’t.

16. Question: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Answer: Breasts don’t have eyes.

17. Despite the old saying, ‘Don’t take your troubles to bed’, many men still sleep with their wives!

The vaccine should be tested on politicians first.

If they survive, the vaccine is safe.

If they don’t, the country is safe.

Not a lot going on up here right now, just working at Da Hoop and enjoying Mom and Becker. Business has slowed down for a while, but we know what is right around the corner. I’ll try to entertain you with jokes since I don’t have much to say right now.

 

1.Is it good if…… a vacuum really sucks?

2.
Why is the third hand on the watch…..Called the second hand?

3.
If a word is misspelled in the dictionary….How would we ever know?

4.
If Webster wrote the first dictionary….Where did he find the words?

5.
Why do we say something is out of whack? ….What is a whack?

 

6.Why does “slow down” and “slow up” mean the same thing?

7.
Why does “fat chance” and “slim chance” …Mean the same thing?

8
.Why do “tug” boats push their barges?

9.
Why do we sing “Take me out to the ball game” When we are already there?

10.
Why are they called ” stands”….when they are made for sitting?

11.
Why is it called “after dark” ….when it really is “after light”?

12.
Doesn’t “expecting the unexpected” make the unexpected expected?

13..
Why are a “wise man” and a “wise guy” opposites?

14.Why do “overlook” and “oversee” mean opposite things?

15.
Why is “phonics” not spelled the way it sounds?

16.
If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?

17.
If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

18.
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

19.
If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read alright?

20.
Why is bra singular and panties plural?

21.
Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when the batteries are dead?

 

22.Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?

23.
How come abbreviated Is such a long word?

24.
Why do we wash bath towels? Aren’t we clean when we use them?

25..
Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

26.
Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?

27.
Christmas – What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?

28. Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?

I been getting ready for Becker to come home. She has been down in Iron Mountain with her Daughter for the last 6 weeks. This morning I put on a pair of flip flops and ran along the shore of Lake Gogebic just so I could remember what having sex sounds like.

Off to see the future ex-wife and future ex-father in-law before I go into the Hoop to work.