Weather: 30-40’s all week.

Trail Conditions: Wet.

Fish Tales is closed until snowmobile season starts. I’m at Dutches Monday and Wednesdays the rest of the month. Not much else going on in our boring barren land up here for a while. Just Beer. Lots and lots of Beer……..

A SHORT LOVE STORY

A man and a woman who had never met before,
but who were both married to other people,
found themselves assigned to the same sleeping
room on a trans-continental train.

Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over
sharing a room, they were both very tired and
fell asleep quickly, he in the upper berth
and she in the lower.

At 1:00 AM, the man leaned down and gently woke
the woman saying, “Ma’am, I’m sorry to bother you,
but would you be willing to reach into the closet
to get me a second blanket? I’m awfully cold.”

“I have a better idea,” she replied. “Just for tonight,
let’s pretend that we’re married.”

“Wow! That’s a great idea!”, he exclaimed.

“‘Good”, she replied. “Get your own fucking blanket.”

After a moment of silence, he farted.

The end

 

Hey Tanya’s Dad, I’m back again.

Weather: Snowy Rainy Crap.

Trail Conditions: Wet.

Fish Tales is closed until snowmobile season starts.

Shoot out to my next ex girlfriend: Tanya I am starting to like your Dad more than I like you. I can believe you drove right past me last weekend and didn’t stop.

Hey Dave, I’m back.

Weather: Snow in the forecast.

Trail Conditions: Colors are in full bloom.

Snow is on the way this weekend so I guess I better get off my lazy ass and start posting again. Nothing to get excited about, only a few inches but there is something to be said about that first snowfall. “Shit” I didn’t put the lawnmower up yet. Shout out to Bret Sontag and the boys, hope you’re having fun. I’ll be at Fish Tales Friday and Saturday nights in October. I’ll keep the bar open as long as you are drinking.

Last nights Lions game.

Opps it was the Packers not the Lions. Just looked way too familiar, why does a team show up for 3 quarters and then quit playing in the 4th quarter? After Sunday it could be a tie for first. I’ll be working at Fish Tales Friday and Saturdays through most of October and during the week at Dutches in Marenisco.

NEWS – HARLEY DAVIDSON SPEAKS TO DECLINING BIKE SALES
Apparently, the Baby-Boomers all have motorcycles. Generation X is only buying a few, and the next generation isn’t buying any at all.
A recent study was done to find out why Millennials don’t ride motorcycles:
1. Pants won’t pull up far enough for them to straddle the seat.
2. Can’t get their phone to their ear with a helmet on.
3. Can’t use 2 hands to eat while driving.
4. They don’t get a trophy and a recognition plaque just for buying one.
5. Don’t have enough muscle to hold the bike up when stopped.
6. Might have a bug hit them in the face and then they would need emergency care.
7. Motorcycles don’t have air conditioning.
8. They can’t afford one because they spent 12 years in college trying to get a degree in Humanities, Social Studies or Gender Studies for which no jobs are available.
9. They are allergic to fresh air.
10. Their pajamas get caught on the exhaust pipes.
11. They might get their hands dirty checking the oil.
12. The handle bars have buttons and levers and cannot be controlled by touch-screen.
13. You have to shift manually and use something called a clutch.
14. It’s too hard to take selfies while riding.
15. They don’t come with training wheels like their bicycles did.
16. Motorcycles don’t have power steering or power brakes.
17. Their nose ring interferes with the face shield.
18. They would have to use leg muscle to back up.
19. When they stop, a light breeze might blow exhaust in their face.
20. It could rain on them and expose them to non-soft water.
21. It might scare their therapy dog, and then the dog would need therapy.
22. Can’t get the motorcycle down the basement stairs of their parent’s home.

Politics and Dick pills

I got on Facebook for the first time in months and seen what I was missing. Nothing but politics and dick pills, and I could care less about either one. Don’t get me wrong both of them will influence my life but I am sick and tired of hearing about them. That’s why I like HULU. I only see what I want to and it is commercial free.  The end of the world according to Tom.

Been a bit under the weather lately, but I need to get my shit together, Winter is coming. It’s going to be here before we know it. It was nice seeing Julie last weekend, even if her husband had to come with.

A woman goes to a counselor, worried about her husband’s temper.

The counselor asks, “What’s the problem?

The woman says, “I don’t know what to do.  Every day my husband loses his temper for no reason. It scares me.”

The Counselor says, “I have a cure for that.

When it seems your husband is getting angry, take a double shot of Jack Daniel’s bourbon and swish it in your mouth. Swish and swish, but don’t swallow it until he either leaves the room or calms down.”

Two weeks later, she goes back to the counselor, looking fresh and reborn.

She tells the counselor, “That was a brilliant idea.  Every time my husband started to get angry,  I swished the Jack Daniels and he would start to calm down.? It was amazing! ?   What is it about Jack Daniels that makes it work like that?

The counselor said, “The Jack Daniel’s does nothing.  Keeping your mouth shut is the trick.

WTF

WOW, got my assed kicked at Fish Tales last night. Not in a physical way, or maybe it was, I hurt all over today. Thank you for everyone that came in to eat and drink. We had trouble keeping up but we were doing the best we could. My daughter was cooking and I can’t begin to say how proud I am of her. Great job Sammy. I’m going to be there again tonight so come on in and watch me work my ass off hopefully.

A salesman goes up to a house and knocks on the front door.  

It’s opened by a little ten-year-old boy who has a lighted cigar in one hand, a glass of whiskey in the other and a Penthouse magazine tucked under his arm.  

Salesman: “Hello son. Is your mom or dad home?”  

Little boy: “What the fuck do you think?”  

Had a few people stop in at Fish Tales last night, lots of laughs and good times as always. I’ll be there again tonight if you miss me.

A band of squirrels had become quite a problem.

 

The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about their squirrel infestation.  After much prayer and consideration, they concluded that the squirrels were predestined to be there, and they shouldn’t interfere with God’s divine will.

 

At the Baptist church, the squirrels had taken an interest in the baptistery.  The deacons met and decided to put a waterslide on the baptistery and let the squirrels drown themselves.  The squirrels liked the slide and unfortunately, knew instinctively how to swim, so twice as many squirrels showed up the following week.

 

The Lutheran church decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God’s creatures.  So, they humanely trapped their squirrels and set them free near the Baptist church.  Two weeks later the squirrels were back when the Baptists took down the waterslide.

 

The Episcopalians tried a much more unique path by setting out pans of whiskey around their church in an effort to kill the squirrels with alcohol poisoning.  They sadly learned how much damage a band of drunk squirrels can do.

 

But the Catholic church came up with a more very creative strategy!  They baptized all the squirrels and made them members of the church.  Now they only see them at Christmas and Easter.

 

And not much was heard from the Jewish synagogue.  They took the first squirrel and circumcised him.  They haven’t seen a squirrel since. 

Worked at Dutches last until 2:30am, today I’m just chilling in Iron Mountain with Becker at her daughter’s house.